Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Three Tankas For an Imaginary Garden

Delilah mezzo
sultry, sexy, melody

electric blues line

then my poor heart cracks open
into a river of sound

.....

angel wings touching words
a flowing river of sound

the bridge is broken

can that love repair my heart
will the music be enough


...

the lord of the dance
left out in the cold tonight

the sidewalk’s beggar

there are blues wrapping the world
dreaming our dreams for us

15 comments:

  1. Hello Lorna. You posted on Real Toads before me so here's the official contact as per Grace's instruction. ;)It'll be interesting to see what comes up next month.

    These were beautiful pieces and I think you captured the yugen she spoke of.
    "There are blues wrapping the world" was an exquisite line.

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  2. Wanted to break these lines down in the Key of E and throw in some minor chords...wow, this really had a bluesy feel to it The last lines in the third one where so perfect.....yikes, those were killer.

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  3. These are wonderful, Lorna. I've just been thinking about music and the part it has played in the life of my immediate family, but I couldn't put music into words the way you've done. Looking forward to next month's challenge!
    K

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  4. Wow, fantastically evocative, bluesy, and thought-provoking. Just so good!

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  5. Lovely tanka...I like the electric blue lines, angel wings touching words and sidewalk's beggar ~

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  6. interesting! the lord of the dance took me off in a whole other direction :)

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  7. I too loved the electric blue lines...amazing!

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  8. Oh I love the blues and these really sing it..great stuff!

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  9. If your loved one’s passion is gardening, then show your thoughtfulness by giving a gift that will be truly appreciated.


    how to garden

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  10. I like the way you worked this form to suit your own vision. Each is perfect.

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  11. Lovely... the second is my favorite.

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  12. What lovely words, Lorna! I especially liked the third one; I see a wonderful irony in it. Beautifully done. Nice to see you on the site1 You've introduced your work in such a creative way.

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  13. The blues, how you write, just begs to be sung in a sulky and smokey voice...love this!

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  14. I enjoyed how you broke them up with space, this actually really helped me. I was unclear on where the turning point happens and what lines constituted the upper and lower phrases. Wish I'd read yours sooner! Great job!

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  15. I admire your ability to really use the bridge line as a "flipping" of thought. You are a natural to this form of poetry I think.

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