Grayness opening out
from a white shaft, slow
gentle increase in hue
never quite reaching black.
A message for me
my cold hands deep
in pockets, and still
such icy fingertips.
So humble on the asphalt
this nun of a feather seeming
grateful for the empty
day, wind free, dead quiet.
A vast nothing of an afternoon,
made clear by a feather.
The Sunday Mini-Challenge - 14 lines
from a white shaft, slow
gentle increase in hue
never quite reaching black.
A message for me
my cold hands deep
in pockets, and still
such icy fingertips.
So humble on the asphalt
this nun of a feather seeming
grateful for the empty
day, wind free, dead quiet.
A vast nothing of an afternoon,
made clear by a feather.
The Sunday Mini-Challenge - 14 lines
Nice. Sometimes it takes something as small as a feather to give clarity to a day!
ReplyDeleteI like the humble feather, grateful for the empty day and dead quiet ~
ReplyDeleteLovely work on the 14 lines ~
Thanks for your comment. I was amazed that the feather held a sonnet sized effect.
DeleteI LOVE "vast nothing(s) of an afternoon".........they are my favorite. I love the feather and all that it adds to this poem!
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful description of a single feather. I always feel the need to pick one up. What struck me about your approach to the 14 line poem is that every stanza is a single sentence. While reading I felt impelled on to the next description and so on until the end. My favourite image is the 'nun of a feather'.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment. I hadn't thought about the cascade effect of the stanzas. I've been working in shorter forms so this was really interesting.
DeleteHi Lorna,
ReplyDeleteThere is not much I can add following Kerry's perceptive comment. Each line a 'page-turner'. Taut and to the point.
a "nun"!
ReplyDeletesolitary
and evocative of so much mystery
That was an image that really surprised me. You never know what will come up.
Delete... stopping to smell the roses... sweet words I've found... if we only took the time to see the world around us
ReplyDeleteI work on it every day - or, rather than work, I just allow myself to slow down. Thanks for the comment.
DeleteI love mourning doves. This sort of day that you have described, seems perfect for taking a lesson from her, I think.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I gave it that title - thought about how much I love hearing them.
DeleteLovely imagery, Lorna, your "nun of a feather" especially.
ReplyDeleteThanks Maureen, I have the feather on my desk. I'm working on a Wabi Sabi theme for a One Breath Poets meeting and it is keeping me grounded!
DeleteBeautiful, almost painfully so.
ReplyDeleteMcGuffy's Reader
http://www.mcguffysreader.blogspot.com
Lorna,
ReplyDeleteThis is filled with wonder~
I love it...
I had to read it again ;D
Really lovely!
Wow, chilling to read. I enjoyed the work very much.
ReplyDelete"nun of a feather" peace-filled, pray-like, quiet, settled, content. I had a few nuns in high school and most of them were NOT the ruler swatting kind at all, but the way I just described. Lovely poem.
ReplyDelete